The stuff you won't want to miss today.
» Today With Des and Mel 1pm, ITV1 ... Probably the only chance you will have to see Nelly Furtado and Roy Hudd on the same tv show this year – or, indeed, any other year.
» Emmerdale 7pm, ITV1 ... Marlon can't get it up.
» Holby City 8pm, BBC1 (8.30pm in Scotland) ... The Holby team have the longest hour of their lives, and we get to see the whole lot in real time. Tom Campbell-Gore is back, but the real action focusses on killer Kelly, as she fears the net is closing in on her. But the it's not all over yet – the murdering minx will strike one more time next week. Watch out, Kath – it's pointy!
» FILM: Small Faces 11.55pm, BBC1 ... A teenage boy is torn between his two older brothers – one a talented artist, one a total ned – in this drama set in 1968. Stars Joe McFadden, so the Scot-totty quotient is guaranteed to be high.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.