The stuff you won't want to miss today.
» All New Top Of The Pops™ 7pm, BBC1 ... An hour-long special to launch the new-look show, with performances from such pop titans as Will Young, Gareth Gates and ... erm ... Lisa Maffia. Followed by more of the same on BBC3, including the first full showing of Jacko's new video.
» House Doctor 8pm, Five ... Proving that Alistair Appleton is hot even when he is a repeat.
» Absolutely Fabulous 9pm, BBC1 ... Edina has a boyfriend! And he has uncovered a lost Beatles album while working at Abbey Road. So is is really a good idea to let a booze-crazed Patsy loose in the studios? Erm, probably not.
» The Osbournes 9.30pm, Channel 4 ... Unbelievably, we're only just onto the second series, and we're already fucking sick of Ozzy and co.
» Little Shop Of Horrors 1.30am, Five ... Something funny to do with a plant.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.