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Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Holy (pre)orders

At last, we have news of Wigan's finest 14-year-old popstar, Lauren Waterworth.
As you may recall, Lauren is the youthful protégé of elderly pop comedian Pete Waterman. She had a minor hit last year with a cover of Baby, Now That I've Found You, and was all set to release a Rick Astley-penned ode to running away with the circus (The Show), with an album to follow. But then – silence! Nasty Jive Records put the whole project on ice because, in their haste, they had neglected to consider who might actually buy poor young Lauren's album (apart from us, of course).
So it was back to the drawing board – at which point Uncle Pete had a brainwave.
Lauren appeared with him on a special episode of Songs of Praise last Christmas singing some of Pete's favourite Christmas carols. By all accounts (ie Pete's), Lauren was a hit with the show's viewers, so the way forward was obvious – she should record an album of lovely carols and hymns for elderly music producers.
The good news is, if you've been desperate to hear Lauren's interpretation of For Those In Peril On The Sea, you don't have long to wait, as La Waterworth's (second) debut album, Beyond Her Years, is out on December 8 – just in time for Christmas – and it's jam-packed with other classic God-bothering anthems.
A review on Amazon that is clearly written by a member of her immediate family proclaims it to be "the best album out in the past two years" and, for all we know, it is. She has the baby Jesus on her side, after all. Pre-order it now, or you will probably go to hell – for all eternity.

By Paul :: Post link :: ::
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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