The schlock you won't want to miss today.
» Hollyoaks 6.30pm, Channel 4 ... Toby plans a surprise for Ellie to prove how much he loves her. A spanner to the head?
» The Simpsons 8pm, Sky One ... Never mind Corrie's lame gay "kiss" between Todd and Nick the other day – you need to watch The Simpsons for some serious boy-on-boy action, as Homer moves into a condo with a pair of those "homosexuals" you read about in dirty books, and starts to question his sexuality.
» Holby City 8pm, (8.30pm in Scotland) BBC1 ... Yikes! One of our heroes is going around bumping off patients. Has Kath decided to take out the many injustices she has suffered on the sick people of Holby? Is it that suspiciously attractive young man, or his bitch sister? Or perhaps Diane, who must surely still be emotionally scarred now her storyline doesn't involve shagging Jeremy Edwards? Who knows. We certainly don't.
» Little Britain 9pm, BBC3 ... Vicky Pollard gets a visit from her social worker. No, really, she definitely does this week!
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.