The schlock you won't want to miss today.
» Emmerdale 7pm, ITV1 ... It's non-stop action in the dales at the moment, with all-round bad lot Chris Tate plotting to bump off his equally obnoxious wife, Charity. Chris will be gone by tomorrow, but there are still plenty of twists and turns to enjoy before then.
» EastEnders 7.30pm, BBC1 ... Ooh, that Lisa. We told you she was a wrong 'un when she pitched up last week caked in sinister black make-up, and we were right! She's now plotting Phil's demise once again. In a completely new and original plot, she's going to shoot the fucker. Hoorah!
» Holby City 8pm, BBC1 ... With the return of Dirty Den to EastEnders imminent, Anita Dobson must be kicking herself that she refused to come back as Angie last year, prompting producers to kill the drunken old bitch off. Anita's got a guest spot in Holby as a consolation prize, though, and that's not to be sniffed at, is it? Is it?
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.