The schlock you won't want to miss today
» EastEnders 7.30pm, BBC1 ... Blimey! EastEnders is good again. And it's all thanks to the return of Lisa. Judging by her manic grin at the end of the last episode, she's up to no good, and we can't wait for the full extent of her villainy to be revealed. And top marks to the producers for giving us lots of visual clues as to her new evil nature – the black clothes, the dark eye make-up, and so on. In fact, all she really needs to finish the look off is a pointy witch's hat and a cape. Having said all that, though, Nana Moon is still an old bat, and we don't give a flying fuck about that woman and her stupid cat.
» The Games 9pm, Channel 4 ... The Z-listers get stuck into some hurdling and weight-lifting
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.