The schlock you won't want to miss today » Open All Hours 7pm, BBC1 ... Please forgive us our nostalgia, but we haven't seen this in years. If you can't be bothered watching Ronnie Barker trying to look up the nurse's skirt, then why not have a look at the signs in the shop window. Ooh! Ariel washing powder for only 49p!
» Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights 10.35pm, Channel 4 ... As much as we love Paul o'Grady, we're desperately disappointed with his Beeb comedy Eyes Down. So we'll be watching the programme it's trying to be instead.
» The Kids Are Alright: The Story of Child Pop Stars 11.15pm, BBC1 ... We don't have much info on this show, so we don't know if they'll be telling us whatever happened to the girl who sang "It's 'orrible being eight and an 'alf" or the Scottish lad who asked: "Donald, where's yer troosers?". But we hope it does.
. . . and feel free to miss these » Greatest Military Clashes 8pm, Five ... Whaaat? Camouflage trousers with a neon vest? We wouldn't be seen dead (oh, not those types of clashes).
» Jim Davidson: On The Road 10.35, BBC1 ... Dubious jokes told with a broad grin just can't be offensive, surely?
» Is there something else we should/shouldn't be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.