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Weekend Low Points

The schlock you won't want to miss this weekend
SATURDAY
» Buffy: Television With Bite 6pm, Sky One ... She might have slayed her last vampire, but we still love Buffy. This is another chance to see a special documentary marking the end of the series
» Big Brother 9pm, Channel 4 ... Happily, the housemates weren't all blown to fuckery last night, so we can finally see who will be evicted during this show, instead of the planned live task. The actual eviction will follow at 10pm, with a surprise offering from C4 in the middle.
» Being The Osmonds 9.20pm, ITV1 ... The brothers are reunited on stage for the first time in 22 years. Presumably, they are not counting the on-stage reunion which we distinctly remember taking place in a different ITV special as recently as less than 22 years ago.
» Kath and Kim From 10.50pm, FTN ... Back-to-back episodes of a really-quite-funny Australian sitcom about a mother and daughter living in suburbia. It looks like it's been made on a budget of basically nothing, though.
SUNDAY
» Popworld 9.30am, Channel 4 ... Simon and Miquita come face-to-face with Beyonce, and Kym Marsh sings a pleasant but bland song. If you can't be arsed getting, up, watch out for the new Saturday lunchtime repeat next week, perfectly timed to follow CD:UK.
» Party in the Park 11.30am, Channel 5 ... For reasons too boring to go into, we were tricked into actually attending this event last year. It was indescribably boring, and we had to watch the lovely A1 as they were actually sucked into the dumper, live on stage. Acts you can look forward to include Shania Twain (Man! I feel like changing the channel) and Atomic Kitten. Busted are on, though, and we like them, so it's not all bad.
» Smallville 5.15pm, Channel 4 ... Another double helping of the boy of steel (and yes, we're quite prepared to overlook the fact that, in close-up, Tom Welling is clearly 10 years too old to be playing a teenage boy).
» Where The Heart Is 8pm, ITV1 ... In happier times, this seemed to be on for about half the year but, sensing that the nation was not physically equipped to bear that much pleasure, ITV have sensibly rationed this new run to a short-but-sweet eight episodes. Sadly, Leslie Ash and her trout pout will be seen fleeing Skelthwaite, but fear not – producers have drafted in another soap refugee (Bernice out of Emmerdale) to fill the gap.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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