It's a bank holiday, which means the schedules are overflowing with utter rubbish. Here's the worst of it:
» Dalek Day from 7.20am, UK Gold ... For some ridiculous copyright reason, the rights for all the Dalek episodes of Doctor Who are about to expire, so this could be the last chance to see them for a while.
» 'Allo 'Allo 9am, BBC1 ... Rene is presumed dead, so his money-grabbing wife begins the hunt for his will. Interestingly, an amateur theatre company is staging a production of 'Allo 'Allo just around the corner from us tonight. We won't be going though.
» The Riviera Touch 5pm, Bravo ... Morcambe and Wise star as two traffic wardens who go on holiday to the south of France. No, really.
» Coronation Street 7.30pm, ITV1 ... Rosie's belly button piercing is revealed! The little minx!
» Carol Vorderman's Better Homes 8pm, ITV1 ... We like this programme because the Scottish TV continuity announcer always calls the host Carol Voderman, because they spend about £50,000 to increase the value of a property by tuppence, and because Stephanie Dunning does everything without taking off her pearl necklace.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.