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Friday, June 29, 2007

That's entertainment. Apparently.

VARIETY! America's Got Talent, ITV2, 8.30pm

America's Got TalentSigh. We miss American Idol. Even though it wasn't a particularly vintage year this year, our Friday nights just don't seem the same without it. Besides, even a substandard season of Idol still shits on the national embarrassment that is The X Factor from a great height. As we were discussing with a friend just yesterday, compare the relative final rankings: Blake Lewis vs. Ray Quinn. Melinda Doolittle vs. Ben Mills. LaKisha Jones vs. The MacDonald Brothers. (Jordin Sparks vs. Leona Lewis is more of an equal match, so we'll let that one pass, but you see where we're going this.) Frankly, it's enough to make you consider emigrating.

Anyway, the point of that seemingly random rant is that we miss that transatlantic talent show slot on a Friday night, so ITV has rather cannily decided to plug the gap with the original US version of the Got Talent format, since the UK version recently pretty much stomped all over the competition on ITV1, and let that nice opera-singing man make a few records (funny how even when it's an all-comers talent show, the winner is still a singer, eh?).

Judges for the US version are Piers Morgan (boo! hiss!), David Hasselhoff and Brandy (who, due to various personal problems that we're sure you're all aware of, will be replaced by eternally useless plank of wood Sharon Osbourne in season two, although we'll give her the slight benefit of the doubt and speculate that she might say something useful when she hasn't got Louis Walsh's hand up her back, if she can find time in between throwing beverages at people and berating quiz show hosts). No Cowell, but we're sure Piers Morgan can fill that role quite happily. Acts for your delectation tonight will include clog dancers, yodellers, extreme jugglers and - most intriguingly - a contortionist archer. We have no idea how that works, which is probably exactly what they're banking on to get us to watch. Damn, they're cunning.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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