Friday, August 12, 2005
And the winner is...?
FINAL! Big Brother: the Live Final, Channel 4, 8.30 & 10.00pm
There's something faintly alarming about the effect that Big Brother seems to have on the time-space continuum. This year's series has been the longest yet, but while it does feel like it's been on forever, at the same time it also feels like it's finishing surprisingly quickly. We have no idea how they've managed to achieve that, but it's quite remarkable. We've worked our way through a whopping sixteen contestants this year (will these people never learn?) and already some of the early evictees have faded from memory - does anyone really still care about Sam, Lesley or Roberto? Who? Yep, us neither. Now that Davina's already shafted the contestant with the fewest votes to win (note to the official Big Brother website: fewest, not least), there are just four to go. Will it be Anthony? Eugene? Kinga? Or Makosi? We'd say it's Anthony's game to lose at this point, but we've really not been watching closely enough this year to make such a claim with any great authority. More importantly, who knows what joys await the winner? Well, judging on the experience of previous winners, we predict any or all of the following: a disastrous Christmas single and a moderately respectable career in TV DIY shows, a descent into terrifying orangeness and high-pitched screaming on low budget light entertainment programmes, a heavily hyped "celebrity" battling show that sinks without a trace after a couple of weeks, a chat with some Scottish teenagers about religion, or an ill-advised dance track and a free invitation to next year's Australian Big Brother. The world's your oyster, dahhhhhhlings.