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WALKY! America’s Next Top Model, Living TV, 9.00pm
We were never particularly big fans of this show’s UK equivalent (Model Behaviour, once a staple of the T4 Sunday morning), but the recent run of the third cycle of America’s Next Top Model on Five in the afternoons has got us completely converted, so why not get on board for this fourth attempt to find another undiscovered model? Tyra’s back, of course, and she brings all of our old favourites, including So Gay Nolé, Janice “Die, Motherfucker!” Dickinson and Jay “almost too gay to function – no wait, he doesn’t have a function to begin with” Manuel. There will be tears, tiaras, pouting and bitching – sounds like a regular day at lowculture towers to us – but you’ll want to get on board early so that when Tyra turns Tyrant and rips pieces out of one of the wannabe models in an episode coming soon, you’ll know which side you’re on.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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