Monday, February 02, 2004
ANGIE JUST WON'T DIE, BRENDAN'S PROBABLY BI, FORGOTTEN SIBLINGS (ENDLESS SUPPLY), RITA'S REPLY AND SOME DULL FERREIRA RUBBISH THAT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME
Ooh, that Angie. She continues to deliver nasty surprises from beyond the grave in HOME AND AWAY (five, 6.30pm), when a convenient piece of paper is discovered which reveals details of a recent abortion. Jesse is shocked to realise he was the father, but that's the least of his worries – he has to somehow make sure Leah doesn't realise he has mislaid her brat in the hope that she will then marry him.
We're sensing a bit of confusion in FAMILY AFFAIRS (five, 6.30pm). As is often the case, it's to do with bumming. Chief gayer Sean has recently spotted his hunky neighbour, Brendan, cavorting with The Gays in a local nightspot, which has somehow led to Brendan being suspected of beating up A Gay. Tension is simmering between the pair, and we wouldn't be at all surprised if it spills over into a full-on snog-up before the week is out. Set those videos, perverts.
Not quite sure what's going on in HOLLYOAKS (Channel 4, 6.30pm) today, but we can be fairly certain it will include one or more of the boys stripping off.
Long-lost sibling alert! We don't know about you lot, but the instances of forgotten relatives suddenly appearing in our lives and demanding to stay a while are few and far between. Not so in EMMERDALE (ITV1, 7pm), where Diane is the latest to be surprised by a blast from the past – this time her estranged sister, Val. In true soap style, she's a wrong 'un, and telling a pack of ridiculous lies about the real reason for her visit.
Rita's up before the beak in CORONATION STREET (ITV1, 7.30 and 8.30pm), and the chances of her not having some kind of outburst and being jailed for contempt must surely be slim.
Top marks to EASTENDERS (BBC1, 8pm), who managed to make us feel sorry for Janine on Friday, even as she confessed the murder of Barry to her gormless brother Ricky. Tonight, he's trying to avoid her. We reckon the best way to achieve this would be for him to fuck off forever, and happily, this is exactly what is going to happen. Elsewhere, the Ferreira children are worried about Ronny's imminent death. Oh, if only he had a brother he didn't know anything about with kidneys to spare. That would be extremely convenient.