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MONDAY'S LOW POINTS

Get your looking gear round these:
» Tricia 9.25am, ITV1 ... The results of last week's paternity tests are revealed, then everyone shouts a lot.
» Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding 8pm, Sky Movies 1 ... Hooray! Mitch didn't die at the end of Baywatch at all – despite all the evidence to the contrary (him being dead, for instance). Instead, he has been off having amnesia, and returns just as CJ is preparing to open a beach-side bar. Featuring many of the original cast – including Alexandra Paul, who was also killed off during the show's original run, and Pamela Anderson's original tits. (Not really).
» Never Mind The Buzzcocks 9pm, BBC2 ... Tonight's panelists include Lionel Blair and Mikey out of Phixx.
» Smallville 9pm, E4 ... Dodgy journalist Perry White rolls into town to investigate the strange goings-on for a tabloid TV show.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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