Monday, October 13, 2003
Postcard from the Isles
Hello! Apologies for the lack of posts from lowculture's Scottish office, but we're midway through a fortnight's holidays at the moment. However, with the needs of our readers so firmly in mind, we thought we'd update you on what we've been up to so far.
Last week we journeyed to the city of lowculture's English base, London, and have summarised our trip for you as follows:
» We flew down on the same plane as BB4's Jon Tickle, who had been on a promotional jaunt to Aberdeen
» Thanks to our airport "connections", we enjoyed free drinks and snacks in the executive lounge before our flight
» Jon Tickle didn't
» There are very many people in London
» Several of them are Brian Dowling*
» We saw the David Blaine installation at Tower Bridge
» He needs a shave and a haircut, and looked pretty miserable, but at least he gave us a wave (see pic)
» There are very many places to socialise in London (hooray!)
» But all the pubs close early (boo!)
» The layout of G.A.Y. brings a whole new meaning to the term "cattle market"
» Drinking till 9am on the day of your departure is not always the best plan
» But choosing the last flight home of the day is
» Try not leaving half your stuff in your hotel before you leave, especially when you've been annoying the housekeeping staff by not putting the ironing board outside your room like they asked you to. It doesn't encourage random bouts of helpfulness
So that was London (in our eyes, anyway). We have decided to spend our second week visiting the folks in Orkney. No, we haven't seen Cameron yet, though we can tell you he was the star guest at the launch of the island's second newspaper, Orkney Today, the other week.
He's a very busy man these days, what with sporting white substances** above his upper lip, and filling the columns of the Sunday Post, but we'll keep you posted if we cross his path anytime over the next few days.
*Who we saw once outside the G.A.Y. bar telling a girl she was "very rude" and a second time with a polite "excuse me" as he nearly bumped into us in Leicester Square.
** No, not that. And certainly not that, either!