The schlock you won't want to miss today
» Fanny 6am, Sky Movies Gold ... We only mention this because it's so unusual to find Fanny on Sky so early in the morning – you usually have to wait until after midnight for that.
» New morning schedule From 9am, Sky One ... This is the kind of telly line-up that makes you want to phone work and tell them to jam it up their hoop. At 9am, there's a repeat of the previous afternoon's Dream Team repeat, followed by The X Files series 1 (time for a nap, then), Stargate and the earliest episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer
» The Simpsons 7.30pm, Sky One ... It might have been repeated about a million times, but this episode, Marge vs the Monorail, remains one of our all-time favourites, particularly the monorail song ("Were you send here by the devil? No, good sir, I'm on the level!")
» Most Haunted 9pm, LivingTV ... The lowculture TV guide rather generously describes this as a scientific documentary. It actually features Yvette Fielding roaming the country looking for haunted houses to pretend to look frightened in with a team of experts.
» TV's Naughtiest Blunders 10.15pm, ITV1 ... The biggest blunder about this 10-foot-high pile of crap was hiring Steve Penk to present it.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.