The schlock you won't want to miss today
» Kylie Day Until 6pm, VH1 ... Today is as good a day as any to phone work/school/your pimp and tell them you won't be coming in.
» Star Trek: Voyager 4pm, Sky One ... Usually, we wouldn't dream of recommending any Star Trek to our discriminating readers, but this double bill, in which Janeway and co are trapped in a similation of the Second World War, is actually very good. So watch it, but don't tell anyone.
» The Simpsons 6pm, BBC2 ... Another fantastic episode, in which the family gets a gay friend, much to Homer's dismay ("I like my men to be men, and my homosexuals flaming!")
» Coronation Street 7.30pm, ITV1 ... Eee, that Rosie's turning into a proper handful. She turns up with a pierce belly button, of all things. Hopefully, her bad behaviour will drive Sally totally loopy and she will stage some kind of bloodbath in the Websters' rarely-seen front parlour.
» American Idol 2 7.50pm, ITV2 ... Our interest in this has been temporarily rekindled by the news that the winner is going to be releasing a cover of pop flop allSTARS' album track, Love Is, as their debut single. We're hoping for Things That Go Bump In The Night as a B-side, obviously.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.