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"Turmeric and Cinnamon" didn't have the same ring to it

HORTICULTURAL! Rosemary and Thyme, ITV1, 9.00pm

We just can't take this show seriously any more after seeing the delightfully deranged French and Saunders spoof of it a few years back:

Actually, that's not strictly fair, since it's not like we ever took this show seriously in the first place. It is, after all, about a pair of gardeners who dabble in amateur crime-solving, who just happen to have "Rosemary" and "Thyme" as part of their puntastic names. It's a good job that Felicity Kendal and Pam Ferris had the sense to play the whole thing with their tongues superglued to their cheeks, otherwise the whole precarious pack of cards would've toppled right over.

We weren't expecting to see any new episodes of this fabulously silly show since ITV announced its cancellation over a year ago, but for reasons best known to the independent television suits, two episodes from the third series were left unaired and have found their way into the schedule - this, as far as we can tell, being the last one ever. And to make things even better, it's a plotline that we remember being done very similarly in Midsomer Murders, where a fake death in a stage play turns out to be surprisingly real. Is there foul play afoot? You bet your priceless orchids. We're going to miss this, in a weird sort of way.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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