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Why the sky is blue

SOAPY! Neighbours, BBC1, 1.40/5.35pm

NeighboursWe're absolutely hooked on Neighbours at the moment. We don't know quite how it's managing to do it, but there is some seriously top-quality soap going on, and we can't believe it's trapped in the schedule at lunchtime and the early evening where we have to plot our day very carefully if we're going to catch up with it.

First of all: certain 'shippers are going to have a field day today, and we feel certain that cries of "squeee!" will be heard across the land. Why? Because following their illicit kiss on Karl's dad's farm last week, and Karl breaking up with Jenny yesterday, the twosome are to embark on a secret affair. This might prove to be a bit divisive, since while there are a great many people who are convinced that Karl and Susan are their OTP and belond together, there's a similarly high number of people who prefer them apart. But we can't help it: we're die-hard romantics, and we love these two together. So: squeeee!

Also today: Harold finds out that Sky is pregnant. We know he's been less than approving of all of her behaviour lately, and we can't help hoping that this pushes his Christian charity to the absolute limit and causes him to throw her out on her ear or something. Sorry, we know that's mean, but Sky annoys us.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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