The schlock you won't want to miss today » Murder, She Wrote 2.35pm, BBC1 ... Jessica has a severe bout of writer's block, so stays inside for the whole episode with a bottle of gin and 60 cigarettes. Not really. She'll have just come back from abseiling or whatever to meet up for (another) nephew's birthday or something, and will later find out the friendly chef killed said nephew's fiancee by poisoning poisoning the hummous. Or something along those lines.
» At Home With The Eubanks 8pm, Five ... Not being particular fans of the dapper boxer, we're not sure if we'll be swinging for the TV ourselves when this new series kicks off tonight.
» 101 Most Shocking Moments in Entertainment 9pm, E1 ... There have been plenty shows over the years that have drawn our attention through shock value, but what will get first place here? A Dallas dream sequence? A sweary-word broadcast live to the nation? We're hoping it's the awards ceremony where Judy Finnegan unwitting displayed her norks to the nation.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.