The schlock you won't want to miss today » The Curse of Blue Peter 9pm, Five ... Gosh, last night Richard Bacon was getting it from Channel 4 for being a Beeb presenter caught taking cocaine, and he's back here tonight in a similar fashion. See how many you can name in the line up - remember the skinny blonde bloke from a few years ago? And look! There's Sophie Ellis-Bextor's mum, Janet!
» Dying To Be Apart 9pm, Channel 4 ... It's not often we come over all serious, but the clip of conjoined twins Ladan and Laleh Bijani bravely talking about the doomed operation to part them on the operating table is agonising to watch. Poor show title apart, we think we might be sneaking a look at this tonight.
» 3 Non-Blondes 10pm, BBC2 ... We said we weren't going to laugh at this Smack-The-Pony-meets-Trigger-Happy-TV hybrid, but in the absence of either, we did.
. . . but feel free to miss these: » Coronation Street 7.30pm, ITV1 ... Curly and his horrible wife leave Weatherfield. We say: don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out (and take Les, Roy and Norris with you).
» Is there something else we should/shouldn't be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.