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Wednesday, July 23, 2003

"I'm spinning around, being locked in the boo-oot . . ."

We can imagine the cop shop conversation that might have followed worried claims that Kylie was being kidnapped outside her London home the other day.

PC Fudd: Hey, Sarge, we've had a report about a possible kidnapping.
Sgt Guff: Righty-ho, Fudd. Do we have a description of the abductee?
PC Fudd: Er, yes. We think she's about 5" tall, but it's hard to tell because she was being carried horizontally.
Sgt Guff: Any distinguishing features?
PC Fudd: Yes, apparently she screamed with an Australian twang, and had a particularly taut ass.
Sgt Guff: She wasn't . . . naked . . . was she?
PC Fudd: No, no. Gold hotpants.
Sgt Guff: Ah. Anything else?
PC Fudd: Er, yes. The kidnappers filmed the whole thing. In fact, they had to do it three or four times before they were happy with it.
Sgt Guff: Constable?
PC Fudd: Yes?
Sgt Guff: You're a fudd, Fudd.

So, Kylie wasn't kidnapped after all. A lookey-likey was pretending to be the star for a documentary (showing how fantastic her bum looks like even during a crisis situation, presumably).
Now we're waiting to find out where the bobby bothering scenes will appear? If only Crossroads* were still around.
*R.I.P. (again)

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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Today's* Low Points :: Fuck Me Facts! :: Leaving so soon? :: Spoilers ahoy! :: Tuesday's Low Points :: Fuck Me Facts! :: Ooh, the banter! :: Monday's Low Points :: Fuck Me Facts! :: It's your birthday ::

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