Digital cheapskates who only have Freeview will be pleased to know that FTN, thus far best known for showing TV Scrabble repeats and lots of other stuff that is too dreadful to show on proper channels, is about to start screening something that's actually quite good.
And, in case you had missed our subtle Locklear Alert logo, we are happy to report that the programme in question is the mighty Melrose Place, in which La Locklear features as a very special Special Guest Star.
Your weekday evenings will be enriched by the opportunity to get to know Billy (no brains, appears to have only half a tongue), Jake ("hunky" but stupid), Alison (moaning-faced, big-jawed witch), Matt (gay man whose sex life consists of manly hugs and lots of coy smiling), Michael (philandering doctor with a penchant for affairs with mental ginger-haired back-from-the-dead mistresses and friendly hookers), Jane (fashion designer with a boot of a sister who always picks the wrong men and is forced, variously, to divorce them and bury them alive), and probably some others we've forgotten as well.
It all starts in the first week of August with the rubbish first series, but we'll remind you again when it gets good.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.