The schlock you won't want to miss today
» EastEnders 7.30pm, BBC1 ... Will Alfie and Kat shag, at last? Or will a ridiculous 'comedy' plot contrive to keep them apart? What do you fucking think?
» Location, Location, Location Revisited 8.30pm, Channel 4 ... Phil and Kirsty visit some of the couples they have helped in the past to see if their property choices were wise investments.
» Bad Girls 9pm, ITV1 ... It's difficult to see how the producers will top last week's episode ("They've only taken Christopher Biggins flamin' hostage!"), but let's hope they give it all they've got. Tonight, Jim decides to get revenge on Yvonne, and Di is bursting to tell anyone who will listen that's she's pregnant with her ill-gotten baby.
» Angel 9pm, Sky One ... Thanks to some spectacularly awful scheduling by Sky, the season finale is finally show, about four weeks after we discovered what happened next in the last episodes of Buffy. There are still lots of juicy twists and turns for fans who have managed to resist the spoilers to enjoy, though.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.