Tuesday, June 24, 2003
All the readers love you, except the ones that don't
Okay, let's get straight to the point this evening. The three remaining Big Brother girls - Nush, Steph and Tania - are up for eviction this week.
Is it Ta-ta Tania? Push Nush? Stuff Steph? Our verdict: Tania will leave on Friday.
In other news, lowculture is tiring of one particular element of the house. Nope, not Nush's pouty sulkiness when carrying out the nominations, but . . . the Geordie voiceover bloke.
It's not his accent we're bothered by. It's the way his commentary always falls into just one of two categories: 1) stating the bloody obvious, and 2) wild generalisations.
For the former, comments like "Scott is sitting in the garden. Steph is making a cup of tea," fail to make a boring afternoon in the house any more exciting. We suggest something more along the lines of: "Gos has tried to conceal a particularly noisy fart by coughing loudly. Tania has decided not to make toast because she can't find the instructions on the loaf."
But it's the latter that really gets on our collective tits - when Geordie lad begins a sentence by saying everyone is doing something, except those that aren't.
i.e. "Everybody is asleep. Except Gos, Scott, Ray, Steph and Tania, who aren't" translates as "Nush is asleep."
At times of little action, we feel the voiceover man should take time to draw our attention to oft-missed details in the house.
Whose eyebrow wouldn't be raised at the observation that: "Someone has left a dirty great skidmark in the Big Brother toilet. Gos was the last one to use it," for instance?