Monday, April 21, 2003
You've won a million, but we don't want to give you that.
Finally, we got to see just how Major Charles Ingram, his wife Diana, and Tecwen Whittock nearly scored a million with little more than a dust allergy to their disposal.
Tonight's episode of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, screened in full, was more nervously anticipated by us than the reintroduction of Cremola Foam (we're still waiting on that one).
It was a cunning ploy. Whittock coughed his arse off every time Ingram plumped for the wrong answer. But give them their credit, it could purely be a million-to-one chance that anyone could have noticed something odd with a system that went along the lines of:
Ingram: Well, it could be A. (silence). Well, it could be B (silence). Well, it could be C (silence). Well, it could be . . .
Whittock: *cof-cof-cof-cof* *cof-cof-cof*
Ingram: Aha, yes. Even though I said it categorically could not have been D, (*cof*)I think it is now. Er, just because.
But our favourite part was when interviewer Martin Bashir heard from one of the fastest finger contestants who was monitoring Whittock's coughing fits during the latter stages of the game.
In a not-at-all-sulky fashion, he said: "I knew the answer to the (one million pound) question even before the four answers were read out."
Reading between the lines, lowculture thinks the inner monologue that followed may have been: "And if that coughing fucker makes any bloody noise, then I'm telling."
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