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Monday's Low Points

The schlock you won't want to miss today
» St Patrick's Day special VH1, from 6pm ... All kinds of shamrock-themed treats, including The Story of Westlife and (shudder) Ronan Keating In Concert.
» The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air 6.20pm, BBC2 ... The contract for the rights to this show must have been negotiated with Satan himself, as there's no other good reason why they should have been showing it in a continuous loop for the last 10 years.
» EastEnders 7.30pm, BBC1 ... Roy heads for the great car lot in the sky tonight. We hear that poor Tony Caunter suffers the ultimate indignity – Roy dies off-screen. If this is true, it's a travesty. We want him clutching his chest and gasping for breath again.
» Reborn In The USA 9pm, ITV2 ... There's really no good excuse for having missed Saturday's episode but, if you did, here it is again. Worth watching just to see David Van Day's plans come unstuck.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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