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Ice to see you, to see you...

COLD! Dancing on Ice: Make Me a Star, ITV1, 8.30pm

Dancing on Ice: Make Me a StarWe won't take too long over this since we're still full of merriment from lowculture's fifth birthday (look how we've grown! Our clothes don't even fit any more! Only another thirteen years and we'll be old enough to vote!), but that doesn't mean we can neglect our duties in terms of pointing out the various televisual masterpieces we think are worthy of your viewing hours today.

Perhaps "masterpiece" is stretching it in this case, but this is a fine idea nonetheless: since Saturday night is just all wrong without some kind of big competitive shiny floor show (you'll note here that we're completely ignoring the existence of The One and Only, which we think is best for everyone), ITV have decided that, in lieu of the actual Dancing on Ice show, which is now on Sundays, there will be a spinoff, which will be equal parts behind-the-scenes preview and competition for amateur skaters to take part in next year's show. (Note: the second Strictly Come Dancing does any kind of stunt like this, we are so there.)

How exciting! But how will it all work? And what will they actually do? Buggered if we know, but we daresay we'll be tuning in to find out...

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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