(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })(); lowculture: Vote for them! Their families are NOT DEAD (probably)!

Vote for them! Their families are NOT DEAD (probably)!

ACTIVE! Sports Personality of the Year, BBC1, 7pm

Now, lowculture has been accused in the past of not being very into the whole sporting thing. But that's not true! At least one member of the board (Sparkle) does some running and another member (Paulie Paul) actually talks about sporty things in a manner that suggests he at least sort of knows what he is talking about. And even some of the more fairweather of us like a bit of the old World Cup, or Wimbledon, or the Olympics. So anyway, this is to prove that we are not elitist against sport (even though a lot of it is a bit boring and goes over our heads).

Last year there was a lot of coverage about how hardly anyone in the sporting world had done anything to merit this award, which was perhaps a touch unfair on the likes of Beth Tweddle and winner Zara Phillips, although it probably was fair to say that David Walliams' channel swim was most people's sporting highlight of the year.

Anyway, this year has hardly been much more exciting, but at least there is a bit more competition for this trophy than in previous years, which are often a shoo-in. Technically, there are ten contenders (including Andy Murray, which is a bit rubbish as his brother Jamie isn't even nominated, despite WINNING WIMBLEDON which Andy will never do, nor any other Brits, come to think of it. OK, it was doubles, so no-one cares, but still), but the general consensus is that it's a three-horse race between Joe Calzaghe, Ricky Hatton and Lewis Hamilton.

We think Hamilton might edge it because he is the prettiest and most media/granny-friendly. But there has been a lot of dissent because apparently he only came SECOND (don't ask us in what race. Something involving fast cars). As we go to press, Hatton is about to fight in a very neatly-timed bout, so if he wins, expect this award to go his way instead.

And thus concludes your LC sporting action until a nominal nod to the the World Cup or the Olympics in the summer... or even Wimbledon, if we get really excited.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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