The schlock you won't want to miss today.
» Holby City 8pm, BBC1 (8.30pm in Scotland) ... The serial killer strikes again! Then, half an hour later, she strikes again. Except in Scotland this time.
» Celebrity Wife Swap 9pm, Channel 4 ... It's the one we've all been waiting for – Jade off Big Brother is installed as the comedy wife of telly cheat Major Charles Ingram.
» Naked Angels In Beach Paradise 10pm, Sky Travel ... Some kind of religious programme. Presumably.
» Ex-Rated 10.40pm, Channel 4 ... A brave couple spend the weekend shacked up in a hotel with three of their respective old flames. You would have to lock us in to make us spend a weekend with any of our old flames. (Note to old flames: We mean the others, not you.)
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.