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Rock out with your cock out

ENDS! Rock Rivals, ITV1, 9.00pm

Rock RivalsAh, but the passage of time makes fools of us all sometimes. We vividly remember writing our very first preview for Rock Rivals, all giddy with the intoxication that only a new piece of high-camp television can bring, convinced that this was the start of something big. But perhaps our excitement prevented us from seeing things clearly: while we saw a fun, entertaining piece of stylised nonsense with some tatty corners but clear potential, what the general public saw was obviously something far different, if the freefalling ratings are anything to go by.

Admittedly, it didn't get everything right: the send-up of reality talent shows could, and probably should, have gone much further (although it's possible that such shows are already so far down the road to self-parody that no one else could ever really do it justice), not all of the things that made us laugh were necessarily intended by the producers, some of the dialogue was embarrassingly clunky, and the whole husband-and-wife-at-war thing put everyone off their pudding by making them think things about Simon Cowell and Sharon Osbourne that no sane person should ever have to think.

And yet we'll miss it when it's gone (and we'll assume it isn't coming back, given its lamentable failure to latch on to an acceptable chunk of the viewing audience). The sad thing is that one of the coolest twists of the show - that we got to vote on the outcome and whether Luke or Bethany wins the show-within-the-show - becomes disappointingly irrelevant in light of the widespread public indifference to the show at large - although presumably this means we're spared the show's winner releasing a real single as was initially threatened proposed. Oh well. Cheerio, Rock Rivals. We'll file you under "brilliant but unloved" with so many of our other favourite shows.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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