Wednesday, April 09, 2008
BEENY! Property Ladder, Channel 4, 8.00pm
We've been hurt far too many times before, and we're not going to let it happen again: Channel 4 may be crowing about its new series of Property Ladder (and fair's fair, the house-that-Jack-built themed trailer is very cute), but our defences are well and truly up this time. We're not going to have our hearts stolen by promises of how it will all be different this time, how they truly respect us, how they only want to make us happy, only for it to end up the same way it always does: a handful of genuinely new episodes before the rest of the series is padded out with barely-concealed repeats with five minutes worth of previously unseen material tacked on to the end, leaving us with the sinking feeling that we've been led up the garden path. Again. Sigh.
It's not that we don't enjoy any opportunity to watch this show, of course - it's just that sometimes we wonder if we wouldn't rather hang on until there's enough material to make up a whole new series, even if it means that new series come around less often. After all, if we want to watch repeats, we can just flick over to More 4 and watch a whole row of them in one go - and at least then we're prepared to watch a repeat, rather than tuning in bright-eyed in the hope of seeing all new development fuckups, only to realise five minutes in that we've seen this one before. That way we'd really be able to get excited about a new series again, rather than thinking "oh, how nice. It's back again after about a three week absence."
However, we're not going to let this sudden attack of curmudgeonliness stand in the way of what is still good news: brand new episodes of Property Ladder, however small the quantity. There are few joys in this world greater than witnessing Sarah Beeny smile through clenched teeth as she listens to yet another prospective developer's hair-brained scheme about how ripping out the kitchen and replacing it with a home cinema system will raise the market value by 15%. And let's not forget the drinking game, where you take a swig every time Sarah's voiceover says "but I'm not so sure that's a good idea", and hope you can still stand by the time 9pm rolls around. God bless you, Dame Sarah, and your formidable bosom. As ever, you have the patience of a saint.