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Let's hear it for the boys

GAYS! Desperate Housewives, Channel 4, 10.00pm

Desperate HousewivesDespite being a prime contender for the gayest show on television (it's a three-horse race between this, Ugly Betty and Strictly Come Dancing, as far as we can tell), it's taken a surprisingly long time for any actual bummers to turn up on Wisteria Lane. There was Andrew, of course, but he seems to have been neutered ever since he got that personality transplant in the middle of season three. So it is with open arms that we welcome Bob and Lee, the first Desperate Househusbands, to the neighbourhood.

Susan's thrilled that her life has suddenly upgraded from CBS to Showtime, and wastes absolutely no time in running over to greet her new neighbours, proceeding to make an ass of herself in the way that only Susan can. Her initial attempts at claiming the role of Wisteria Lane's first fag hag fall flat after she mistakenly infers the presence of a third party in the relationship ("yes," mocks Lee. "We're gay Mormons.") and attempts to pass off shop-bought cookies as her own hand-baked goods. When these tactics fail to impress, she resorts to dognapping to get the new boys on side. We'd say it makes sense when you see it in context, but let's be realistic: this is Susan. Of course it doesn't.

Elsewhere, there's a delightful scene involving Edie's gynaecologist (the way he breaks the news to her that she has crabs is inspired), Orson does tricks on a scooter down Wisteria Lane, and Katherine's aunt Lilian returns home to die, and is played by one of our favourite actresses for any part involving an old lady serving as a plot point, Ellen Geer. The only downside to tonight's episode is a Tom/Lynette subplot which makes Tom look like a complete jerk, but at least he takes his shirt off. We're not made of stone, you know.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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