(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })(); lowculture: It's my anus, doctor. I need you to take a look at my anus.

It's my anus, doctor. I need you to take a look at my anus.

ILLNESS! Street Doctor, BBC One, 7.30pm

Street DoctorIn all fairness, last Wednesday's double-whammy of new series of both The Apprentice and Desperate Housewives
was always going to be a hard one to top, but we didn't expect there to be such slim pickings in terms of noteworthy new programmes to write about this week. Just when we thought all was lost, however, our eyes happened to flick up to the top of the page of the Radio Times and we had our eureka moment: a new series of Street Doctor. Hooray!

Admittedly, our exposure to this show has almost entirely been via Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe which covered this show in quite literally gruesome detail during its last series. In fact, here it is, just in case you missed it:

We apologise if you happened to be eating when you watched that, but in fairness, so were we the first time. It's unpleasant, but ultimately character-forming. We hope.

The quartet of peripatetic medics are taking to the streets of Chester this week, though we suspect it's too much to hope for some kind of crossover with Hollyoaks where they trace the entire country's bone marrow database in the space of thirty seconds, identify the father of a bastard child just by quickly glancing at it sideways, and point out to the entire population under the age of fifty that there might be fewer unplanned pregnancies if they just learn to use contraceptives properly. Instead, we can only assume there'll be more sores, bruises, varicose veins and (shudder) hammer toes. If you're planning to tune in, be sure to eat well in advance.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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